Love & Relationships

"In the beginning, we didn't really know each other. Now you've seen the best of me and the worst of me and you still adore me. That's real love."

 The truth is, women today need men more than ever. They just need men in different ways. Men can provide special support that can assist women in coping with the new stresses of modern life, but most women don't know how to get this support or to appreciate it properly when it is available. With a greater awareness of her needs, a woman can begin to appreciate what she is getting and focus less on what she is not getting. With a more realistic vision of what is possible rather than the Hollywood fantasy of a man who fulfills her every wish, she is better able to appreciate his efforts and not take for granted all the things her partner already does provide.

When she learns to appreciate what a man already offers, a woman holds the key to asking for more in small reasonable increments to get the support she needs and deserves. This is not only a formula for success, but it is also what real love is about.

The above quoted citation from John Gray's book, makes him realise something important. He went into richer understanding of lasting love with the help of his wife of the above statement. Love is not a fantasy of perfection in which our every need is met, but sharing a life together, striving to meet each other's needs as best as we can. Forgiving our partners for their mistakes and accepting their limitations can be just as fulfilling as appreciating their many gifts and successes. Just as it was difficult for her to live with a man who didn't always measure up to her expectations, it was challenging as well for John to accept that he couldn't and did not provide everything his wife's fantasy of a perfect relationship.

Just as women need to let go of expecting men to be perfect, men need to let go of expecting women to think men are perfect. Together, we learnt that our life doesn't have to be perfect for us to connect and support each other. Real Love does not demand perfection but actually embraces imperfection. Sharing this kind of love enriches all aspects of our lives and brings increasing fulfillment.

Intimate and truly loving relationships make up the fabric of a fulfilling life. The relentless demands in our lives to have more, go faster, and do better can distract us from this simple truth. The social changes that have expanded our freedoms have also created the need for new ways to keep harmony in our most intimate relationships.

Credits to : John Gray in Why Mars and Venus Collide

LOVE
Question to ponder: What are the qualities of true love?
Laban replied, "It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter's bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work." And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wide. Laban gave his servant girl Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maidservant. Jacob lay with Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah. An he worked for Laban for another seven years. [Genesis 29:26-30]

Properly understood, love between a woman and a man is both a feeling and a commitment. It is a feeling of desire and devotion that draws two people together. It is a commitment to remain together no matter what happens to the feelings. True commitment, however, should enhance people's feelings for one another. Jacob demonstrated passion and commitment in agreeing to work another seven years for the woman he loved, despite the fact that he's been tricked into marrying Leah. Jacob counted the additional years as immaterial compared to the value of his love for Rachel. Our culture often mistakes strong feelings, or even lust, for love, but Bible reminds you that love is sealed by an act of commitment and faithfulness.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

[1 Corinthians 13:4-7]

LOYALTY

Question to ponder: How is loyalty an expression of true friendship?

At this they wept again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye, but Ruth clung to her. "Look," said Naomi, "your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her." But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." [Ruth 1:14-16]

Ruth's loyalty and commitment to her mother-in-law went beyond their cultural expectations. The two women had become friends. True friendship is characterised by loyalty, no matter what happens around you. There is a vast difference between knowing someone well and being a true friend. The greatest evidence of genuine friendship is loyalty, being available to help in times of distress or personal struggle. Too many people - and relatives! - are fair-weather friends. They stick around when the relationship benefits them, and they leave when they're not getting anything out of it. Think about your friends, and consider your loyalty to them. What can you do to become more loyal? True loyalty passes the test of adversity and brings a divine moment into the life of your friend.

Love never gives up,

 never loses faith,

 is always hopeful, 

and 

endures through every circumstance.

[1 Corinthians 13:7]

Simple & Logical theory:

Out of love, loyalty, passion which is the most important in a relationship?  Loyalty and trust. These two surpasses everything. When a couple breaks up, it doesn't mean that they do not love each other. It's plainly because they don't trust each other that much compared to the beginning, and they're not anymore loyal. Love is still there. Some time you do wonder, why a couple who loved each other never end up together? It is because of the lackage of Trust, Loyalty, and Understanding in the person and the relationship / commitment they hold on to.

It's a non-bias passage. I hope it doesn't turn out to be offensive or sarcastic. It's just really something that I really really really want to share from the bottom of my heart...

I know its a slight unusual to relate Love & Loyalty. 

Next one would be a post about Marriage =D 

- Jasmine Pang-

18 Nov 2011